Mga Sentimyento (A birthday blog)

Sigh. Do I really need to write this one? Uhmm. I guess I’ve got a better questions left in mind like- Do I need to stay up late just to feel some sense of wishful thinkings? Do I need to feed my mouth and my eyes as often as I want to? For me to feel like I’m full? Do I need to ask? Do I really need to get older? If you would open up my skull at this very moment and try to see what’s on it. You would see my brain being screwed up with stupid thoughts (70% -lust, 30%-hmmm.empty.lol) . Nah. Just fooling around, trying to hide some petty stuffs.

So, a year older, and a bit wiser. I’ve got nothing much to say. I just want to share some thoughts and how they became a part of my now, but not necessarily of my past.

SANITY.

I’m in and out of this. And Who’s not? Or better yet pose it as Who has not yet been? Cmon don’t give me those raised eyebrows and stares. I’m not a psycho, not yet. Well, if given the chance, why not try. Being a John Nash isn’t a bad deal at all. It does not bore you, nor anybody else. A Nobel, a sought-after biography, and an unforgettable screenplay. Who would say life is miserable at all? Being sane and/or insane is just an outlook. Psych Doctors might rebut, and I just don’t want to give a damn thought on giving them the chance to prove me wrong. It’s not about the neurotransmitters nor nature-nurture stuff. It’s all about how you want to insanely experience everything, and sanely keep yourself up after a fall.

HOPE.

Roaches will be the last group of species to be seen if this earth would be destroyed. I’ve read this once somewhere. And it really amazed me-“that sheer piece of crap would outlive me?”, I asked myself. “Crap!” Again and again. I envy the roaches though. How I wish human beings could sustain much longer, that even the most toxic of all the toxics is just an OPD (out patient department) case. Well, that remains a wish. But wait, I realized something- I still can outlive a cockroach. I might be dead but my hopes and all the abstract things you could ever think of will forever be. Poor Roaches.Outlived.Still.

COLLIDE.

I simply like this word. Likewise, I also like the songs by Dishwalla, and I forgot the other one (the cheesy one.lol).Collide. Hmmm. Life is a big collision of fates. Sounds profound, perhaps. But that’s the way I see it. We drive on our own, but stupid as it may seem we bump, and experience some humps. What comes next is more stupid, this time astonishingly stupid. From those bumps and humps, we meet new people and learn things we never expect we will. A rough road makes a good driver, makes sense.

FEAR.

“It’s good you experience fear, it means you still have something to loose.” This striking line by Dr. Webber, in a Season 5 episode of Grey’s Anatomy caught me. It’s like a lifelong message. Fear, no matter how obscure and obscene it could be. It exists for a purpose-killing the boredom (like Endemol’s Fear Factor), coercion (like the NLE.lol) , and utmost confidence to those who almost lost it. So Fear, and don’t be afraid to show it off. After all, life’s all about admitting your weakness, your dependence, and realizing that we all (regardless of socioeconomic status) have something to loose.

RUNAWAY.

Impulses. I don’t wanna be passive in every aspect of every endeavor, so I opt to be impulsive in everything I do. And I want to blame it all on those impulses why I had ran away from things I needed to face. Some mistakes are made to live by (from SpeedRacer, if you insist it’s a familiar line). That was what I thought before. But, I was wrong. Black and White, All or None, Dichotomy. A wrong is always a wrong and has to be corrected, or at least modified.

TRITE.

Keep everything short and simple.Like life.

FRAIL.

Alcohol do make one’s arteries and veins weak. (Do we have a doctor here? I might be proved wrong this time.hehe). I’ve read it in a medical journal for a not-so-intensive research for a cerebral aneurysm pathophysiology way back college. Its funny that everything pleasurable has tantamount future despair. Lesson: Take everything in moderation. And Drink moderately.lol

TIME.

All I wanted was just spin right past me, while I was rooted fast to the earth. Late realization, yet on time.

Wow. Seven Thousand Six Hundred and Sixty-five Days: no joke. It was never an easy task making each worthwhile.

My gratitude to all those who cared to read, and to those who find this one cheesy. It’s my birthday, for crying out loud! I claim my right this time.Hehehe. Good day everyone!

 

Also read at: http://jantrisixtin.multiply.com/journal/item/8/Mga_Sentimyento_A_Birthday_Blog

~ by jantri on January 8, 2009.