Its been a while.

Howdy? I guess I was so lulled by Facebook that all other stuffs I had, including this site, was left unattended. I’ll be back here and will swell things up. I dont know where and how to start, it feels like everything’s adrift and new. The dashboard, the ambience, and even the way to log in has changed. It’s been a while. It’s been a long while.

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All my recent posts were and are to be  originally published at jantrisixtin.multiply.com.

Spontaneous

And So I was dumped. It was a bitter moment, then came the Denial-Anger-Bargain-Depression-Acceptance—the reparative grief process.

 I bet you thought  it took me some courage to put in  to writing the previous post.  Well, hell yeah, it did.  A while ago, I had a read on it and I can’t help but smile and wander off of the awful dread the moment that was.  In an unbias fashion, I’ve read my thoughts and found it quite a despair.  I’ve read yours, and it was a kind lend a hand.  I’m smiling because I am thinking that this one would be an opposite complement of that Introspection shitty;  a comeback from a retreat, resurrection after death, sunshine after the rain-whatever.

Hours ago, I had a great time with my bestfriend. And I guess, I really missed those times when everything was just so naive. Psycho babbling, bag gliding on heck of a dirty hall, make me cry race, unconscious mutual violence, who’s the richest tales, list the treats you had me (somewhat boring because it doesn’t always happen)  and the recent infamous  bookmark (was that really a bookmark?) for a ransom- the basic random proponents of a lasting friendship, I believe.  It makes me sad though that those days are to be counted. It also made me loosely remember a word we discovered on a lame Literature class, which consequently  became a personal favorite.

Vicissitude. And if I could describe life’s circumstances in one word,this would be it. I am fine now and never been this determined and eager. Introspection and everything about it will help me kick up a notch, a way higher.

 

After all, life is indeed spontaneous.

 

Time stops at some point, and when it starts again, it moves fast. (Big Fish,2003)

 

LOL. Imagine this as a footnote: Vicissitude- n.an irregular, unexpected, surprising change;  successive, alternating, or changing phases or conditions, as of life or fortune; ups and downs

 

Introspection

Introspection.

 I surely would not forget this word, the very word that brought me to a point of almost losing my sanity. I would not forget the day I thought of using it for the purpose of taking a chance on making a relevant connection between  my profession and my passion. I would not forget the moment I tried to look into and considered such a key towards a supposedly brighter path to this dim and cloudy career.  And I would not forget the day I realized how selfish the word is.

I think I‘m out of boredom (finally!) How could I forget those days when idleness seemed to eat me whole. But, it’s ironic that I have just wished that  I didn’t run away from it. I guess the stare-startle episodes are far better than these nightmares/flashback like hauntings.  

And here goes the drama…

It is sad when you’ve got so much to say with no one to hear.  More sad, when you have conveyed a message beyond listening, yet you are left  with an inexplicable impression. And most sad, when you know you’ve got a dime of world changing abilities, yet you are seen flat and dull. I have been through a series of life changing experiences, and I would like to think of those as blessings. But then again life never failed to provide reasons of using the word “but”.  Struggles and  strides have gave up on me this time. I fell. I will soon stand up and walk tall. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can get up.

My apologies for such a vague entry. I intend to do it this way so as to preserve a bit of esteem that was left of me after such a masacre of self contempt and cynism. I do know my friends understand this one, and a few have a hint. Again, I beg not of your symapthies, and encouragement. Perhaps, seeing me  as me would do me a great favor. To my bestfriend (you know who you are), I owe to you my present day strength. A positive something is better than a negative nothing, and I would never forget that. I hope that one day I’ll have my turn on saying those stuffs and on easing a restless soul. I guess I have to cut this crap, some glands in my eyes are trying to do their job (again).

From a respite

It’s sixteen minutes to 4am, yet still can’t sleep. I thought of posting something here. Perhaps, it would bring me to some kind of a dreamland afterwhich. I had a good watch of classic  (should I call them that way?) movies recently. I was able to see Titanic a while ago, for the first time (,and was 12 years behind fad.lol). I’ve watched The Shawshank Redemption, and once again believed in hope. Also in the list were Field of Dreams, Glory, and Pursuit of Happyness (certainly, not a classic though). It’s funny how I was about to weep on parts which shouldn’t be- I guess it goes to show how relatively things are and have been..

At the moment, still my mind is in rage of thoughts, thoughts waiting to be published through some digital pressure and a little time,(made me wonder if Robert Boyle and his law could help me out sometimes, perhaps.) It is raining outside, and I took a glimpse.

A lamp post was trying to light up the surrounding when a tree blocked, casting a shadow, a seemingly pixelated, and spotted one. I saw water droplets falling off from an undetermined distance, felt some gasps of air as I was gasping too in awe. LIGHT, SHELTER, WATER, AND AIR, and I took some time for a stare. I came to think that these are the only stuffs man needs (to survive). I continued staring and saw from a not so afar a pair of ants in a background of amber and greens and dews. There, I saw a movielike picture of the fifth thing a man needs.

The fifth thing? Well, nothing in specific, I guess. Perhaps, it is the composite of abstracts he thinks he needs. Very relative, abstract as vagues, and vague as abstracts—like the classic movies.

Take 5. (A review blog)

[FROM JANTRISIXTIN.MULTIPLY.COM] This is the second installment of my Idleness Series. It is my first time to make a movie review here, and I was thinking why not make it five times of everything- story, spoil, and critic. Below are the five Oscar Best Picture nominees for this year. It’s my intent to place them together in this space so as to easily share my novice comparisons and perhaps know the why’s and wherefore’s of February 22’s verdict.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

“Your life is defined by its opportunities… even the ones you miss. ”

This was the first movie I saw among the five. The movie was all about a recollection of an old lady in the present time of a love story she and Benjamin (Brad) had. Another lady, was reading Benjamin’s diary, which expectedly was the resultant organism of Benjamin and Rose’s (old lady) halfway meet. It all commenced with an old man and a girl as queer playmates in an aged home and ended with an old lady lulling an infant in her arms still at the same place, in the course of love. The story was quite predictable and made the audience less curious. What just struck me was the primary setting–time.I like the part when Benjamin was able to realize the purpose of growing in an aged environment. Also, the part when he had to leave Rose and their daughter because “She can’t raise them both.” Everything was so ironic yet so brutally honest.

What I love most about the movie is its dreamlike, misty visuals. I think I can safely place my bet on cinematography and art direction on this one. Acting wise, Brad should give the credit to the old man parts and the prosthetics.

I love how the ending was done, though it was not part of the story. Here are a few parts: “…Some people swim, some people know buttons…and some people dance.“ Simple yet loud. (Can I add half a star? Just to give credits to its cinematography.)

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

“D: It is written.”

I must admit, I never intended to watch this one. It just so happened that my disk space can still accomodate new downloads, so i gave it a hit on mininova. Unexpectedly, my hesitations turned into a wandlike spun of visual pleasure. The colors are so vibrant, so goes with the music. ( Their sound and music team must have been brave enough to put some disco-like music for a chase scene, it blends well anyway.) Throughout the movie, Boyle (director) never failed to show why India is safe to be hailed as the slum among the slums. Although the syndicate-child labor-violence subplot is a not so wonderful frontact (,as it happens to be an everyday noisemaker in the Philippines too), the intertwined bifurcations of Jamal Malik’s (lead actor) misadventures with Salim (brother) and Latika (love interest) gave the story a different shade. Its amazingly ridiculous how the flashbacks and Benjamin Franklin in a hundred dollar bill, and a not so famous Indian poet, and eventually the name of the third Musketeer made it all happen.

The movie’s social relevance cannot be slurred.Perhaps, such made it that big. My favorite scene is the shit thing. I just can’t help but laugh when Jamal made a dive (with a hand raised upward holding a soon to be autographed photo) on a sea of shit. Also, I found it quite unique to see highlighted subtitles anywhere around the screen, so Bollywood. And if you’d ask me which part/s I don’t like, it would be the dance number (It’s for you to see.LOL). I hardly can’t forget the moves (,budots moves.LOL.)

It’s worth a watch on the big screen. (That is, if the dance part is omitted.LOL)

FROST/NIXON

“I am saying that when the president does it, it means it’s not illegal.”

Yeah. The quote above serves its purpose pretty well. The very moment R. Nixon (Langella) said it to David Frost (Sheen) on a catch the dragon’s tail interview, I can’t help but rewind and listen again.

The movie was all about parcels of David Frost (a renowned TV personality in the 70’s) and Richard Nixon’s (the 37th President of America) biographies. The former in the limelight of his career, and the later at the moribund state of his political life (or perhaps,his life per se). The priced two hour interview was like a tug of war between the host’s struggle to bring down his guest and the guest’s idling tactics. Bold and strong movie. I am looking forward to a movie genre like this in the local scene. I guess the sole pitfall was the picture quality (though it contributes a lot to the convincing aspects). I guess Langella will win the lead actor award, if Sean Penn will not. It’s between the two, I guess.

The motion picture was just a reaffirmation of a line from a movie, The Departed (which happens to be a former Oscars Best Picture) HONESTY IS NOT SYNONYMOUS TO TRUTH. Although this was the last movie I’ve seen in this selection,this is my personal favorite. 

MILK

“ Without hope, life is not worth living.”

Its not your ordinary fag movie. Harvey Milk (Penn) was on his way to his golden year, found love, and found his purpose of being—to promote equality among all, regardless of sexual preferences (specifically). The movie was quite a halfway bore, but I was a bit amused as to how the story went on. It was when Proposition 6 (pro-gay bill, Milk, and the majority San Francisco county) versus “Morality” (a Senator, and some morality/religious groups) started. All the while, I could not help but notice that the movie depicted a cycle of mayhem-sanctuary-rally. However, it did not fail to capture me in awe in the end.

My favorite parts would be Jack’s (Harvey’s boyfriend) suicide, the telephone call between Harvey and Scott (former boyfirend/campaign manager/bestfriend), and of course, Harvey’s slay scene. Needless of words, the picture said it all. With a bullet on his head,he fell on his feet facing the opera house-It seemed like he was more worried on not being able to watch the gala show with Scott on his 50th birthday than death itself. (Its for you to unravel the reason he was shot.) Sean Penn will win for a lead actor role, though it seems to me like there was a huge peculiar similarity between this and Forrest Gump. LOL

I couldn’t help but compare and contrast this to Frost/ Nixon. They’ve got very same documentary-political/ retro genre, which brought them on a stalemate. However, Milk is the only original screenplay among the best picture nominees, the others are all adaptations. I place my bet on this movie for the said category. 

THE READER

“ Only one thing can make you feel so complete…and that thing is love.”

This is a quite disturbing movie,because of some nude scenes (perhaps), and the story itself. The story took place in Germany, Hitler-Nazis rule. Its about a random affair of 15 year old Michael (David Kross) and train conductor Hanna Schmitz (Kate Winslet), lead into successions, and eventually to parting of ways.

Years later, Hanna was placed on trial, and compulsively admitted her involvement. Unknowingly to her, Michael was there all the while. He was a part of the audience and at the same time an observer/law student. Hanna was sentenced to life imprisonment, Michael was uneasy about it. On the later part, fate seemed to favor them. They met, this time not for an affair.

Oops. Did I mention why Hanna admitted a crime in court? Well, it is all in the title. Michael was The Reader, and that what kept the young Michael,old Michael, and the same Hanna in unison. She plead guilty the moment the court required a specimen of her penmanship. How far would you go to protect a secret? Read the logic. (What a spoil! LOL). There’s so much to tell about this story, and likewise the story has so much to tell.

I’ve watched Jolie’s Changeling, and Meryl Streep’s Doubt, but Kate Winslet is awesome. Perhaps, it’ll make some noise if she’ll not win the lead actress role. (for all the nudities, nyahaha)

*I’m not into movies or whatsoever before, but again thanks to idleness, I am now. Once again, I reaffirm- IDLENESS IS HEALTHY. LOL

Change. (America and Obama)-a repost from jantrisixtin.multiply.com

All eyes to a focal point once again; America.Obama and Change. (It seems like these three are inseperable words now.) The 44th American president has sworn, and the world  had come to witness how an oratorical prowess hovered over millions of  hopefuls.

 I am glad that the local news did their part on this history. Truly then, this must be something that needs to be broadcast. This can’t be news if it wasn’t exceptional at all. Many things ran through my mind as I became a part of the audience .The visual motion has brought me an equally moving message. The American people stood and walked tall with their flags, symbolic enough of their pride as citizens and their sheer yearning for change.

 I wondered how Bush felt the very moment Senator Feinstein started to talk about change and how America and the whole world needed it (that much) and how it was to come about in the seat of Obama. The very high office he left had undeniably brought peril to the economy and peace and order not just of his country, but of the world. I was also thinking how much pressure the newly seated president is in right after the summon of promises and challenges. I liked it when he said “ Today we must pick ourselves up,dust ourselves off and begin the work of remaking America.” ,It was very much tantamount to a single word- (the infectious,)change. In concurrence, I was thinking when will an Obama take its forth in the Philippines. It’s hard to be a pessimist in when everything seems cynical and pessimist too. Maybe someday, I will see my country aloft and enveloped with an atmosphere of change. I wouldn’t mind if I’ll be dead then. I’ll still look forward to that precious someday.

Now I suppose you are wondering why on earth I am telling you this. I just can’t hold my thoughts and I have never seen something like that. Well, at least  once, when the Pope died. Obama is something. He’s got to be something.

Herewith is the full text of his much renowned victory speech (I bet you thought its the inaugural.lol). Thought of posting it to remind us to not stop working on our hopes and believing that Filipinos  can. Yes, we Filipinos can,too.

http://www.america.gov/st/elections08english/2008/November/20081105101958abretnuh0.580044.html

Idleness is healthy.

Yes, you’ve  just read it right. Idleness is healthy. 

I was off from doing stuffs here for quite a while, and I’m kinda missin’ it, valid and sound enough to have my fingerprints once again registered on the keyboard.

“Only one thing can make you feel so complete, and that thing is love.”

“ Just because it is, it doesn’t mean it should be.”

“Without hope, life is not worth living.”

“ If you don’t have love in your heart, you have nothing.”

LOL. These are not love notes, or forwarded text messages, for crying out loud. These are movie lines. No, you can’t call me mushy. I’ve got all my defenses, nyahaha. First, these are from no crap movies. (I’ll try make a one big review/spoiler of all the movies I saw recently, which happens to be nominees for this year’s Oscars.) Second, I love the cliches (aforementioned quotes). Simple and overused stereotypes- may be read or heard  like eternity, but one cannot appreciate it, not until you are riveted to the very scene you thought you are in too. Lastly, it makes you wanna wander off in a glazy eyed stupor (LOL. Did I just describe orgasm?)

I’ve been spending my not-so-precious time downloading movies (and watching them, of course), reading news and a book, and savoring the experience of being a bum. Im beginning to love movies now. I mean the classic and the boring one. Likewise, I’m beginning to love loathing the experience of being a darn bum.*sigh. Apparently, I’m just  trying too hard to surmount this guilt. This can’t go on for long. I can now feel some nidus formation way down there, and some aggregation of blood cells in my peripheries. Hypochondriasis? A bit no and a NO. It’s Reality-I’ll be cold dead in a year or two if this stasis goes on.

On the lighter side, I still believe idleness and stasis can be healthy.:D

I wonder why you’ve tried to read long enough, when all I wanted to say was just in the title – Idleness is healthy, still.:D

Rabbi.

A troubled man paid a visit to his rabbi. A wise and good old rabbi, as all rabbis try to be. “Rabbi.” said he, wringing his hands, “I am a failure. More than half of the time I do not succeed in doing what i must do.”

“Oh?” said the rabbi

“Please say something wise, rabbi,” said the man.

After much pondering, the rabbi spoke as follows: “Ah, my son, I give you this wisdom: Go and look on page 930 of The New York Times Almanac for the year 1970, and you will find peace of mind maybe.”

“Ah,” said the man, and he went away and did that thing.

Now this is what he found: The listing of the lifetime batting averages of all the greatest baseball players. Ty Cobb, the greatest slugger of them all, had a lifetime average of only .367. Even Babe Ruth didn’t do so good.

So the man went back to the rabbi and said in a questioning tone: “Ty Cobb– .367—that’s it?”

“Right,” said the rabbi. “Ty Cobb–.367. He got a hit once out of every three times at a bat. He didn’t even bat .500—so what can you expect already?

“Ah,” said the man, who thought he was a wretched failure because only half the time he did not succeed at what he must do.

*Theology is amazing, and holy books abound.This is just one of the many  reasons  while I like Robert Fulghum much.